Does being busy define your self worth?
These days being “busy” seems to have become a trend, something to strive for, and even an addiction. But when “busyness” starts to define your self worth, is it healthy? If what you do and how much you do defines you then what happens when the busyness ends? Who are you then?
Mainstream “success” stories teach us the art of ‘hustling’ and ‘working hard for the money’, so no wonder there is a thrilling component to being busy. Perhaps being busy will get us closer to being “successful”. Inevitably, at times, we will be genuinely busy, we all have responsibilities and duties we need to maintain but when busy becomes our norm and way of defining our self worth, have we gone too far? What happens when we stop?
What I have learnt from being too busy!
I know I am a culprit of perpetuating busyness. On a positive note I am often busy because I love learning and any spare minute I have I like to dedicate to learning something new. However, I know I often run around like a headless chook, with a need to be everywhere doing everything so I seem important and “successful”. I have a real problem with not being busy, with not doing enough. I often stretch myself thin trying to be everyone and everything. This leaves me exhausted, depleted, scattered, stressed, anxious, and with no clarity.
I have consciously slowed down this week to give myself space and allow myself to heal. I have slowed down to ground myself, re-set, get more clarity and to do things with more purpose and intent. I am trying to trust that by slowing down, the answers I am looking for will come to me. Yet there is still a fear that I am not doing enough. I even feel guilty at times that I am not as busy as my friends. That because I am choosing to slow down, that I am lazy, that I am not enough. But it is not true! Here is why:
Being busy does not
equate to success
You can be busy all the time and not really be achieving much at all. If your measure of success is how much you do then sure, busyness might equate to success. However if your definition of success is based on happiness then this is definitely not the case.
Busyness does not
equate to happy
You can be busy and absolutely miserable. Since when did “busy” replace “good”?When asking “how are you?” It seems most answers these days are “busy”. Feeling “Good” is no longer the desired state of being.
Being busy is an
Being busy can become like a drug in the sense that the more you start to cram into your life the more you crave it. The thrill of wondering whether taking on one more project is even possible is one you are willing to take, even if it means neglecting sleep, health, and relationships. Yet as we know with every addiction there is always a risk of overdosing and in this sense that means a serious breakdown.
Being busy becomes a
How many times have you felt you have had to compete with someone who is rattling off their list of to dos to you. “Yes, I know, I’m so busy as well.” Being busy becomes a way of comparison and comparison never helps anyone.
Being too busy
distracts you from
When you are ‘busy’ you have no time to check in with yourself. That break up, the death of a friend, the extra pounds you have piled on, the niggle in your hip etc. all get brushed under the rug. You are simply too busy to deal with them. Busy-ness can keep you distracted from pain. Hell, you don’t have time to brush your teeth let alone deal with the crises of life!
You are not lazy if you are
To be in a good, calm or grounded place with an achievable amount of things to do seems to imply that you are lazy and that you obviously don’t do enough. This is not true! The definition of busy is to be engaged in action and full of activity. We cannot sustain a full-time schedule of action, we need down time to rest and replenish.
What if you had nothing to prove? Nothing you had to be, do, or achieve. I’m not advocating or saying that the only thing you do is sloth around watching Netflix and binge eating forever but what if you stopped and gave yourself some time out, some time to deal with what’s weighing you down. What if you could be happy without being busy? What if you could be happy with just the simplest things in life? What would happen if you allowed yourself to slow down sometimes?
As Amy Cuddy says,
“Slowing down is a power move”
If you are looking for some movement or mind classes to slow you down, head over to omunay.com to find the perfect class for you today!